Panties Speak a Thousand Words

Storytime! And this is a little story about a pair of panties. Yes, my friends, we're talking about underwear.

I recently encountered a bizarre little situation that illustrated for me how succinctly an article of clothing can represent your (sad) life story.

A friend of mine was over for the weekend and forgot to pack panties. I have done this before. Um, a lot. I'm always the guest who forgot ONE thing, and, you know, if I'm coming to visit you, just plan on visiting Super Walmart at 3am, because that's when I'm going to need a bra/deodorant/toothbrush or whathaveyou.

However, being in Boston, where there is CERTAINLY no Super Walmart - no, not even Boston, but Somerville - home of 'Nothing's Open Past 7, so Hunker Down for the Night, Ladies' - there was definitely nowhere for her to grab another pair for the next day. Great friend that I am, I said I'd lend her a pair.

And ew, no, shuttup. I'm the kind of person who forgets she buys something the minute it's put away, so I usually have 3 of anything with tags still on. (Sidebar: To counter this, I usually leave new things in the bag on my floor until I'm ready to wear it. There you go.) Or I'll buy a multipack of panties (what? sometimes you're just broke and need some cotton undies to get you through a long laundry spell!) and then I won't like one or two of the colors (WHITE), so I assumed I'd at least have those extras in my drawer. ANYhow, I assumed I had some clean, UNWORN panties to lend her.

So I pull open my drawer (second one down, thanks, the top is too cliche) and triumphantly saw a tag right away and yanked the pair out, handing them to her. Pink. Pink and frilly. Pink and frilly and sheer girlygirly panties!!

Caught, abashed, I mumbled, "Because.. I just... I guess I bought them to have something sexy-- for--- I guess my next boyfriend? And that's - why - the tag's still on. Um."

Yeeeeeah. But she wore them, oh yes she did. My panties and I saved the day! Unfortunately, I think that good deed gave away more about me then anyone necessarily needed to know. And now you know, too! Enjoy!