Makeup or Make Believe?

It's been summer 'round these parts (in case you haven't noticed), and I spent a good deal of mine lusting after a beautiful Estsee Lauder compact with translucent pressed powder that would reduce the glistening state of my face (especially nose) during those hot afternoons. I could just see myself sweltering on the bus (do I even take the bus?) on my way to somewhere important (where?) and whipping out my gorgeous, sophisticated metallic compact to powder my nose in the most old-fashioned of senses. How chic! And much better than dabbing at my sweat with a napkin, am I right?

And then recently, without warning, I have found myself ogling radiance sprays, especially with Vitamin E (or hell- flecks of real gold!) to keep my skin dewy and glowing all day. I would glow! I would shine! How badly did I yearn for the ubiquitous Guerlain L'Or Radiance Concentrate? So badly!

But um... wait, what? How did both an anti-shine and a moisturizing spray, both for the face, end up on my beauty wish list?? Am I seriously oily when I wish I were dry, and dried out when I really want to be shimmering and damp? Am I so out of balance that a complicated system of sprays and powders and pulleys and a trap door are necessary to save my face? (On top of, let's be honest, my daily washing, toning, lotioning, concealing, and general makeuppery?)

I... have to believe that rather than being a flawed, greasy, scaley freak of nature, I have actually been cowed by beauty blogs (no offense!) and magazines (lookin' at YOU, Glamour!). I have been sucked into a paradoxical black hole of beauty contradictions, all in the vain (heh) effort to be PRETTIER. Lord knows I won't get that job promotion or hunky boyfriend without my tool belt of makeupical uppers and downers, right?? (Yeah, I went there, I made up a makeup word.)

I think that cross-checking beauty and fashion (and hell, grocery) lists is pretty good for the soul. Let's weed out the advertising and get down to the nitty-gritty of what we personally need to highlight our assets. I mean, come on, do I really need a bigger trash can AND more at-home storage devices? Do I really need Kashi GoLean cereal bars (fiber! on-the-go capacity!) AND soy sausage (sit down for more meals! more protein in the mornings!) on my shopping list? Extra tall riding boots AND those under-boot over-the-knee tights everyone's swooning over? I don't think so.

Make up (heh) your mind, Bard!