Wednesday, April 15, 2009

LOL Spam

I've always been a fan of spam. No, not the canned meat-like product (ick!) but rather spam email. Running two blogs with a public email address, I get a fair share of it in my spambox every day. But before I click 'Delete All' I like to browse through the subject lines. Whether perverse, solicitative, absurd or just poorly spelled, they often give me a good giggle.

The daily spam read-through has always been a guilty pleasure of mine, and now I want to share it with you. After all, what is there to life if we can't use our resources to bring happiness and spam into the lives of others? So without further ado, here's a first installment of LOL Spam (don't worry, it's safe for work)(and all subject lines are [sic]):

1. Size is Always Matter
[SB: This one blows my mind a little. Newton never saw it coming!]
2. Jack looks for you for a week!
3. I worry about you..
[SB: For some reason, this one makes me a little sad. I think it's the unfinished ellipses. What do you think happened to the sender midway? Now -I'm- worried. Vicious cycle!]
4. Nothing matters except a big dong
5. Give your bomb longer timer
6. No Impotence
7. Your love torch wont blow out
8. Scientists found pervert genes
9. How to be Irressistible to Women - Sexually
10. How to Eliminate All Your Yacht or Boat Expenses NOW
[SB: Whew, I was wondering how I'd pay for my yacht.]
11. This crysis never ends
12. Mom called police, where were you?
13. Make your own gun of pleasure
14. Is Linda here?
15. Outrageous games of yuppie
[SB: Polo? Stock trading? Dog breeding?]
16. CIA prisons' photos!
17. Hideous surgery's victims
18. Most brutal children
19. Get better in making it with her
20. Answer. This. Letter!

Enjoyable? You betcha. Feel free to email me any great lines from your own spambox, and I'll post them next time.


MJ said...

My favorite is the one that claims to help me find a surgeon, either for eye surgery or for a boob job. Please tell me no one picks a surgeon from their spam box!

The Style Bard said...

LOL maybe that surgeon offers a two-for-one special?

JamiSings said...

Gee, you get nicer spam then me. Lately it's all been "Barnyard fun" and "see horny teens get it on with farm dog" and other beastiality-related porno spam.

Makes me long for the days I got things like "Barely legal lesbian teens!"

And of course the penis enlargement. Nevermind I'm a woman, and single, and straight.