Wednesday, November 08, 2006

A Faux Letter Word


Well I've been in quite the posting funk, now haven't I? Personal concerns aside, I have really missed this space. I must stop reserving all of my scathing fashion-related comments for my cat, because quite frankly, she's sick of me. "Save it for species who actually wear clothes," she seems to say with those yellowy eyes. Don't be jealous, Josh, it doesn't befit young kittens of your stature.

While I am not yet sure of the frequency of updates I can promise (yet), I am just had to re-emerge from my torpor to bring you this riddle: What single item is, by its own definition, the most heinous fashion grievance? What mere concept of style can make a girl's blood curdle, the notion of which offends those of us who take trends (even animal print) seriously?

Four words:

Faux. Fur. Reversible. Vest.

Faux! Fur! Reversible! Vest!

There's maybe one word in that little choo-choo train of denotative wreckage that's allowable, and we all know it's fur. And still! But everything else is really pushing it, if we're talking taste (and when aren't we?).

Without further delay, I bring you:
Is it a vest? Is it a potato sack? Has a rabid animal escaped from the nearby forested area and is now attacking this poor, presumably tiny model with its bulky beast body while the photographer clicks away, blithely unaware of her impending doom?

Even at 33% off... please, my dear friends, if you're not too affronted by me forcing this grotesque sight upon you, take my advice. Stay away.

I did it for your own good.


!mp said...

nice title.

Cara said...

Heee. I think that you need to grace readers with a picture of your AWESOME magenta faux fur Halloween vest.
That thing was beautiful.