Eye of the Beholder

Remember back when I was jolted out of temporary blogger hibernation by the ugliest vest known to shopping? I cautioned you all to be wary of descriptive tags - if the item is marketed by its assets, and its assets are 'faux fur reversible vest', then you don't even really have to look at the piece itself, or see the price tag, to know better - move along, nothing to wear here.

Well, my friends, I have stumbled upon yet another fright in four words:



Sparkle. Pleated. Bubble. Skirt.

We know one of those four is okay on its own: skirt.

Otherwise, what a mess this is! It looks itchy- like that material you wore for your dance recital costume, or your grandmother's lamé shawl. And I know, I know, some of you like bubble skirts - every store has them, it means someone is buying them. And yes, gold has been very popular lately, and I like gold, but the expanse of sparkles, folds, and then those buttons? Too much. Even for a year of metallics; even for the holiday season. I know what this skirt reminds me of - it's like a potato sack trying really, really hard.

And yet? Some people, somewhere, are going to buy the rest of these out. And that's why I'm such a believer that beauty is in the eye of the beholder... because seriously, there is no other explanation. (There are various exceptions to eye-of-the-beholder justification, like Uggs and mini-skirts - I just don't want to see it this year, okay ladies? And we can put the leggings away for good. And the jumpers. I want to still believe in your good taste. Let's not make this into an intervention.)

It does, however, explain why this skirt is on sale at Bluefly - but it's still $99.99, which is waaaaay too much for a skirt that closely resembles one I used to have for my Barbie, and even that was back in the 80's. I don't care if it used to be $210.00, whoever dreamed of not only making this disaster, but then selling it at such a price is out of their mind (I'm looking at you, "Walter"). And if any of you even think twice about buying it, you are going to hand over your credit card and your keyboard, and you, me, and your closest friends and relatives are all going to sit down and have a little talk, mmk? Because we love you.